Journal Entry # 21 – I Only Have 5 Months To Live..


Lamentations 3:22-25 KJV

It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.

Let me share this entry from a dear sister in Christ, bianca. hope this will move you..

http://inspiringentries.blogspot.com

Im dying of end-stage Waldenstrom Macroglobulinemia.. a cancer of the immune system.. My doctors told me i only have a few months to live.. But who are they? they didn’t create me, did they? They did not master every part of my body as what my maker have mastered..

I only realized my disease 3 mos ago.. I was honestly not ready for the news i was about to receive.. At that time, I had 8 mos to live.. The doctors suggested several ways of having cure to this disease but they were all useless.. it only brought more pain to the body that had already been painful.. WM has no cure.. at first i started asking God why.. why has this happened to me? but little by little im seeing light at the end of this dark tunnel i am walking through.. i no longer see myself 5 or 10 years from now.. that is too far from reality.. i know my frail body will not last that long..

but this disease had given me a new perspective in life.. it gave me reason to thank God for every single breath i take and every morning i see with my failing eyes.. i come to appreciate the leaves falling the the roses beside my hospital bed.. i learned to love my parents more.. say i love you to those i really love.. and appreciate every single and simple things people important to me are doing.. knowing that i may not be able to that again.. or perhaps tomorrow..

i have now come to accept my condition.. i know from my heart of hearts that God has a better purpose for me.. oh how i pray that my testimony may change lives and make people realize how short our live are.. it is short because no one can be sure that they are still alive tomorrow..

i am not praying for long life for my sake.. i am praying for long life so that other people may come to realize the same realizations i had while im on my hospital bed.. i am not praying for healing for myself.. i am praying for healing to those people that have long more years to live and can do lots of change to other people and their community.. i am not praying for miracle for myself.. i am praying for miracle to those people who knows me or read this post that they may realize their potential in Christ to be used for his greater glory, before its too late..

i wanted to write lots of things here.. but that seems to be boring to read.. so as you finish reading some parts of my life, i dont want you to pray for me.. I WANT YOU TO PRAY FOR YOURSELF.. what have you done for Christ lately? when was the last time you became a blessing to your family and brethren? my friend there is only one difference between you and me.. I have 5 more months to live.. but you don’t know how long or how short you’ll live.. i pray that you would start acting right here right now.. i don’t need to know you’re a christian.. i need to SEE that you’re a christian..

Bianca – 12/12/2007

from Christianster.com
(published with permission)


Lamentations 3:22-25 KJV

It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.

update: Bianca death came earlier as expected. details here

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